Christianity: Keeping the “X” in “X-mas” since 33 A.D.

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I would hope by now it wouldn’t be a surprise to any of you that I am a Christian. I don’t exactly hide the fact, but then again, I don’t exactly throw it in everyone’s face all the time, either.

For Christians, the Advent season is obviously of particular importance. And, as is typically the case, I’ve already been bombarded with the “Keep Christ in Christmas” emails from friends and family who are rightfully concerned that a cherished holiday is devolving.

[Reader Alert: Sarcasm Mode has been engaged]

I mean, seriously, who doesn’t find the concept of a holiday musical like “The Slutcracker” entertaining? Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt, and Bob Guccione — fine, upstanding defenders of the First Amendment — would no doubt give it their seal of endorsement, if the latter two weren’t already chestnuts roasting by the fire.

I mean, there’s nothing really wrong about “a parody retelling of the classic,” or a “sexy, freaky, holiday, zeitgeist spectacular” during the Christmas season. And when The Boston Herald’s reviewer says, “Let’s just hope Drosselmeyer doesn’t do anything illegal with the kids,” that’s just some good ol’ fashioned humor.

For the love of Pete, get over yourself, Christians.

So, when the American Civil Liberties Union sues a retirement community over its plans for a Judeo-Christian display in its city park at Christmastime, don’t worry. The ACLU is really looking out for you, and your First Amendment right to be free from religion. I mean, really; if the ACLU isn’t in your corner, who is?

Besides, this whole “War on Christmas” mess is complete fiction, contrived in the 1950’s by right-wing nincompoops like The John Birch Society. Who would seriously think the United Nations and Communist Party of America have anything but our best interests in mind?

Nut jobs, that’s who. And Christians are just the willing patsies in this whole cruel, twisted charade.

[Reader Alert: Sarcasm Mode has been deactivated]

OK. I can’t do it anymore. My sarcasm is officially broken.

Christians understand the assault on our religion is simply a constant. We’re taught this is the way it will be. In some corners of the earth, the persecution is still a matter of life or death. But, for American Christians, martyrdom is less about losing one’s head literally for our faith as it is about not losing it metaphorically when those who don’t share our beliefs walk all over everything we hold most dear.

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