It’s funny, but despite only being three and half hours from Kansas City, winter in Iowa feels a lot more brutal.

I mean you guys get more snow and lower temperatures, yet everyone around me is like, ‘This winter has been kind of mild.’ I look back at them simply astonished that six inches of snow and off and on weeks of negative temperatures is considered mild.

As much as I want to harp on winter in this column, this article isn’t about the negative aspects of winter. Nope, it is instead about the most important fact of winter; the fact that winter is the season of the corpulent gentleman.